Last night I lay in my bed in my travel trailer and contemplated choices that we make in our lives. Our lives are made up of choices that we, and we alone, make. Others may influence our choices, but they cannot make them for us.
I am presently in Tennessee visiting “my sister” who is dying of cancer. She isn’t my biological sister, but could not be more of a sister, even if she were. And I am so thankful to have had her a part of my life. She has made a major life choice, and that is to die with dignity and grace, and a peaceful heart. That is what started my thinking on our making of choices in our lives.
As small children our choices are made for us, but at a very young age we begin making our own choices. Many of our teens choose a life of drinking, drugs, and mayhem, despite our teachings. Most of the time we, as parents and friends cannot influence those choices. We must choose..do we stick our heads in the sand and, because we love them so much, enable them by making excuses for their bad choices, or do we direct our love toward them by excepting the fact that they have made their choices, and that they must make new choices in their lives to become the beautiful persons they were meant to be? And pray that is what happens?
I move on to the choices we as adults must make…and every single day of our lives is made up of choices. Life would be much easier if someone would just make our daily choices for us, but we must not allow that to happen. We can’t let anyone else dictate our choices…do we choose happiness and contentment, despite our material possessions? Do we find our own contentment in life, or live with others unhappiness heavy on our hearts. I don’t mean that I think we should be unfeeling or uncaring about others…just the opposite actually. We are meant to be loving creatures, but don’t think we should destroy ourselves in the process, nor should we set out to harm others by our choices.
I think we are probably meant to give our love and compassion to another human being, a life partner, a person to spend our lives with, but love is not always enough, nor easy. It takes real effort, and once in a while hard work to make that kind of life workable, and there are times that escaping seems the best of choices. It takes making the right choices on the part of both people, and for each others good. Would that we could each be Scrooge for just one night, to see into our future based on our choices….
I sometimes hate it when I get into this depth of thinking, but perhaps others would like to share their thinking with me, and help to settle my mind…speak to me, please.
LivingYoung 
“We are meant to be loving creatures, but don’t think we should destroy ourselves in the process, nor should we set out to harm others by our choices…” Very thought provoking…I do NOT think we should “destroy ourselves”——if we do, we will no longer be happy and have nothing to offer the other. “being for the other” is loving one self enough to stay strong and give your best to the other…..if we do not care for ourself, our own gift of life, then what have we to offer the other??? “Love your neighbor as yourself” is not easy…because it involves total acceptance of oneself…we have to love our own life and respect our own life…then we will love and respect the other. We cannot expect the other to fill us…we each must take responsibility for our own life and choices—as you implied in your writing. With that comes compassion and forgiveness…we are human beings and imperfect…the other person may not always live up to our expectations or hopes…I guess it comes down to how much we can give of ourselves, without destroying ourselves? Only each individual can answer that for him or herself.
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You are so right in what you say, and I appreciate your taking the time to respond to my thoughts. I believe that we in all our imperfections could not possibly make all the right choices all of the time. We must forgive ourselves, as well as others and move ahead, knowing we have done our best. Thanks again for your thoughtful response.
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We can only do the best we can do. We can try to make educated choices, and we can try to make choices based on our ‘gut’ and listening to that still small voice within. Even with thought and consideration and heart,and looking out for red flags, our choices may not add up to what we thought they would. Things may not turn out the way we wish they would have. However they DO end up, we learn things. Maybe we get some wisdom we didn’t have before. Maybe we think….something was telling me this wouldn’t work, but I didn’t listen.
I think, especially if we are solo, we need to take care of ourselves, because no one else is going to. Choices about how to do that are important, and only we can make them. Not everyone will understand those choices. In fact, no one else might seem to understand them.
I look back and shake my head at some of the choices I’ve made, even as an adult. Especially as an adult! But on the other hand, I’ve made some good choices too…some very good ones. I guess it all comes out in the wash. We are humans, make mistakes, do good things, do bad things, do things. Try to do better things. Just so glad I have the freedom to choose.
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You are so right, Micky. Those “solo” choices we must make are sometimes very difficult, but make them we must. Most times I think we probably make the right ones with the help of experience. Amen to being glad we have the freedom to choose. Thanks a lot for your thoughtful input.
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I think the choice you have made for your current life is wonderful. Not an easy one to make but you are making it work for you.
Looking back at my life there are some choices I made that I wish I hadn’t but there aren’t many. For that I consider myself fortunate.
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Vicky, thank you very much for reading and replying to my wandering thoughts. I always enjoy hearing from you! And I’m with you..I believe most of the choices I’ve made have been the right ones for me at that particular time in my life. Life is good, and hope you are doing well. Perhaps we can get together when I make it back to Tomball in the near future. Take care, my friend!!
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